Executives at the asset manager issued a firmwide memo Tuesday warning that the growing trend of turning off harsh office lighting represents a material risk to corporate productivity.
Facility directors at the firm's Hudson Yards headquarters have been instructed to remove manual dimmer switches and hardwire the trading floor's 5,000-Kelvin daylight-balanced LED ceiling panels to remain fully active during all working hours. The mandate explicitly bans personal desk lamps, string lights, and warm-toned bulbs, which management claims create an unsanctioned atmosphere of comfort that distracts from the print.
We pay $140 a square foot for this commercial lease, and our investors expect us to experience every single lumen of it.
Analysts at Morgan Stanley issued a client note supporting the crackdown on ambient coziness, observing a direct correlation between soft desk lighting and a decline in quarterly transaction volume. The desk advised institutional investors to begin shorting companies that allow employees to control their immediate physical environments, citing a lack of necessary workplace friction.
By late Tuesday afternoon, human resources had begun confiscating Himalayan salt lamps from the fixed-income division, classifying the warm pink glow as an unapproved headwind to capital allocation.