Two Sigma co-founder John Overdeck formally petitioned a New Jersey family court on Tuesday to seal the records of his ongoing divorce, arguing that exposing the true scale of his hedge-fund fortune would inflict permanent psychological damage on the general public.
The emergency motion claims that allowing his wife, Laura Overdeck, to read his unredacted asset portfolio into the public record would trigger an immediate existential crisis for anyone earning a standard wage. Overdeck’s legal team warned the judge that the unsealed documents contain strings of zeroes so vast they pose a direct threat to the regional labor market's morale.
The filing comes after a preliminary hearing where a court stenographer reportedly required medical attention when Laura’s attorneys casually mentioned the couple's carried interest from a single 2018 quantitative trading algorithm.
If a municipal court clerk sees what my client generated in passive income while using the restroom last Thursday, they will walk out of this building and never return to work.
Laura’s legal team has maintained that full transparency is required, threatening to introduce an unredacted spreadsheet detailing the square footage of the family's secondary holding companies. In response, the presiding judge agreed to clear the gallery of anyone who could not prove they already operated a family office.