The 140-pound dog died Thursday after refusing to cross the frictionless expanse to reach his water bowl.
OMAHA, Neb. — Duke, a 140-pound Great Dane who maintained a rigid, life-long boundary against smooth flooring, died Thursday of apparent dehydration at the terrifying edge of the kitchen linoleum. He was 6. Born into a fully carpeted living room, the gentle giant spent his life enforcing a strict perimeter around the breakfast nook, routinely stretching his neck to maximum extension rather than allowing a single paw to touch the frictionless expanse where his water bowl was stationed. Relatives noted he was a dog of immense physical stature but fragile geographical courage, once holding out for 14 hours until a hallway runner rug was deployed as an emergency bridge to his kibble.
He knew the shiny floor was lava, and he died standing firmly by his principles on the safe brown carpet.
Duke is survived by a frayed rope toy, a deeply indented spot on the sofa, and a full, untouched stainless-steel water bowl resting just three feet out of reach. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that all hard surfaces be immediately covered with sensible bath mats.