Stepping out of the 65-mph stall to loudly knock the imaginary dirt off his sneakers, area father Mark Tedesco reported feeling extremely confident Tuesday that the 17-year-old batting cage attendant was quietly awestruck by his swing mechanics. Tedesco, 44, noted that the teenager had barely looked up from his phone for the last twenty minutes, interpreting the silence as a deep, respectful reverence for his bat speed.
Tedesco, who initially brought his 10-year-old son to the facility as a thinly veiled excuse to purchase five rounds of tokens for himself, reportedly spent several minutes aggressively stretching his obliques in full view of the central token booth. After fouling off six consecutive pitches to calibrate his timing, the local supply-chain manager managed to drive a dimpled yellow polyurethane ball directly into the top netting. Witnesses confirmed Tedesco immediately stepped out of the batter’s box and stared pointedly at the plexiglass enclosure to ensure the employee on duty had registered the display of raw, lingering middle-aged power.
Inside the booth, high school junior Tyler Vance was reportedly trying to reach the next level of a mobile game while waiting for his shift to end so his mother could pick him up in the parking lot.
I didn't actually see him hit anything, but I did hear him exhale really aggressively every time the green light flashed on the pitching machine.
Despite Vance spending the entirety of the batting session slumped in a plastic chair and occasionally pressing a button to unjam the dollar-bill acceptor, Tedesco remained convinced that the teen was mentally breaking down his hip rotation. Following his third round in the cage, Tedesco intentionally walked past the booth to purchase a blue sports drink he did not want, wiping sweat from his forehead and remarking to the glass window that he still had a little pop left in the old wrists.
At press time, Tedesco had purchased an additional four dollars in tokens specifically to demonstrate his opposite-field approach to the teenager, who had already put on a pair of noise-canceling headphones and turned his back to the cages to sweep up a dropped pretzel.