The 12-year-old bird passed away Thursday following a brief illness. He leaves behind a legacy of absolute acoustic precision and thousands of confused trips to the kitchen.
Peaches, a 12-year-old lutino cockatiel who devoted his adult life to the flawless vocal reproduction of a 2014 GE Profile Series microwave, died Thursday in his Oak Park cage. The cause was avian cardiac arrest.
Hatched in 2012, the bird survived two cage upgrades and a brief flirtation with the smoke detector’s low-battery chirp before committing himself entirely to the shrill, flat electronic tone signaling a finished frozen meal. His relentless dedication routinely drew family members from other rooms, only to find a cold, empty kitchen. He held the household record for most consecutive hours spent vocalizing at a blank wall.
He never once bothered to learn his own name, bypassing human language entirely to spend ten years living as an appliance.
Peaches is survived by Hayes, a small plastic mirror with a bell attached to it, and a Samsung dishwasher he was just beginning to study.