The beloved scarf-wearing predator survived three conference realignments before tragically succumbing to the Rec Hall ceiling.
STATE COLLEGE, Pa. — The Penn State Nittany Lion, the beloved, scarf-wearing predator who energized generations of tailgaters, died Tuesday after becoming tragically stranded in the upper rafters of Rec Hall. He was 89.
A tireless fixture of the university community, the Lion survived three major conference realignments and held the regional record for continuous, unblinking pushups on wet artificial turf. Despite never speaking a single word, he communicated a profound, pantomimed enthusiasm that guided thousands of freshmen through orientation.
We shook a bag of treats, and facilities even tried enticing him down with a giant novelty pretzel, but he just kept pointing his foam index finger at the sky until the very end.
He is survived by the Michigan Wolverine, the Purdue Boilermaker, and a damp, odor-retaining travel duffel. Services will be held in the south end zone, followed by a ceremonial firing of T-shirts into the grieving family.