The legendary suburban athlete perished instantly upon stepping onto the darkened department store's linoleum.
BOCA RATON, Fla. — Shirley Glick, 74, a dedicated Town Center mall walker who held the regional record for consecutive Auntie Anne's laps, died suddenly Tuesday morning after her orthopedic sneakers crossed the threshold of the forbidden, shuttered JCPenney.
Glick began her walking career in 1998, surviving three separate food court remodels and a harrowing 2012 stampede outside Bath & Body Works. Known for maintaining a relentless 3.5 mph pace past the massage chairs, she was universally respected by her peers for her sheer discipline in never making eye contact with the Dead Sea salt kiosk vendors.
She knew the ancient pact we made with the property managers. We turn at the Sunglass Hut, and we never gaze into the Penney's abyss.
She is survived by her husband, Arthur, two daughters, and a fully stamped but unredeemed Sbarro rewards card. Memorial services will be held in the Macy’s home goods department, strictly before operating hours.