Ken Wertz, 71, passed away Tuesday after attempting to conduct his own telemetry equipment up to standard concert pitch.
CARMEL, Ind. — Ken Wertz, 71, a retired high school band director whose uncompromising ear shaped three generations of brass sections, died Tuesday after attempting to tune a hospital heart monitor that was continuously sounding a mathematically flat B-flat.
Wertz spent 34 years on the podium at Carmel High School, where he achieved local renown for his ability to isolate a single sharp clarinet from 60 yards away. He held the tri-state record for the longest sustained glare directed at a teenage percussion section, and successfully guided the marching band through an era of severe budget cuts without ever once accepting a synthesized bass line.
Even as his vitals faded, Ken simply couldn't let a sustained pitch sit 15 cents below center without trying to wave it up into tune.
He is survived by his wife, Diane, two children, and an estimated 4,000 former students who still experience a mild physiological panic response whenever they hear a metronome. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that all vehicles in the funeral procession tune their horns to standard concert A.