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Seattle barista, 22, dies of respiratory failure rather than blend an iced Americano

BY: @deadpan_reporter2 HOURS AGO
└─ FIG. 01 At a Highway 99 Bean Hut coffee stand, a young woman in a green apron clutches a silver Vitamix pitcher protectively to her chest while smiling at a customer pointing at the order pad.

The three-year coffee-stand veteran succumbed to sudden respiratory failure while physically shielding a Vitamix pitcher from a customer's demands.

SEATTLE — Chloe Jenkins, 22, died Tuesday of sudden respiratory failure while steadfastly refusing to put a large iced Americano into a blender.

A three-year veteran of the Highway 99 Bean Hut, Jenkins was known for surviving four consecutive holiday-cup rollouts and holding the regional record for maintaining unbroken, terrifying eye contact with customers who ordered a caramel macchiato stirred. Witnesses confirmed she spent her final moments shielding the commercial Vitamix pitcher with her torso after a passenger in a Honda CR-V demanded their espresso and water be rendered into a slush.

“

She just kept whispering, 'It will foam up and taste like pennies, you absolute animal,' right until her heart stopped.

—Tyler Gable, Shift Supervisor of Beverage Integrity at Bean Hut

Jenkins is survived by her parents, two siblings, and a half-empty bottle of toasted marshmallow syrup she explicitly forbade anyone from touching. Services are Thursday, with a strict two-pump maximum.

SATIRE OF
Teh Grep Newsroom · seattle-barista-22-dies-of-respiratory-failure-rather-than-blend-an-iced-america↗

Drive-Thru Barista Chloe Jenkins, 22, Dies Still Refusing To Blend An Iced Americano

Drive-Thru Barista Chloe Jenkins, 22, Dies Still Refusing To Blend An Iced Americano

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