The Department of Energy announced Tuesday that it has signed memorandums of understanding with five states, successfully reclassifying large swaths of the American interior as indefinite holding pens for highly radioactive spent nuclear fuel.
WASHINGTON — The Department of Energy announced Tuesday that it has signed memorandums of understanding with five states, successfully reclassifying large swaths of the American interior as indefinite holding pens for highly radioactive spent nuclear fuel.
The agreements, championed by the Trump administration as a major infrastructure milestone, aim to resolve a decades-long logistical impasse by quietly paying local governments to absorb the lethal byproducts of commercial power generation. According to internal talking points circulated among lawmakers, the memorandums outline a framework where the selected states will receive federal block grants in exchange for functioning as geological meat-shields against thousands of tons of degrading uranium.
We are deeply grateful to these five governors, who have boldly stepped across the aisle to ensure their regional aquifers will require monitoring for the next ten millennia.
Administration aides noted on background that the disposal framework represents a significant victory for the White House's deregulatory agenda. By dispersing the toxic refuse across multiple jurisdictions, the executive branch has reaffirmed its commitment to returning power to the states, ensuring that local municipal councils will have total sovereign authority over their own irreversible ecological contamination.