Artificial intelligence researchers have successfully eliminated the human bottleneck in joke theft, deploying a new generation of chatbots capable of plagiarizing female stand-ups without a single man having to attend an open mic.
Silicon Valley developers confirmed Thursday that their latest algorithms have achieved "open-mic parity," consistently swiping premises word-for-word from young female comedians without requiring a human man to physically sit in the back of the room. The breakthrough represents a massive leap forward in automating a process that has relied on manual labor since the mid-twentieth century.
By ingesting thousands of hours of video clips and stand-up routines, the bots can seamlessly lift a woman's observational humor and instantly republish it through a generic, bodacious AI avatar. Industry analysts noted that the architecture drastically reduces the effort previously needed for an aspiring podcaster to memorize a punchline, commute home, and claim he thought of it on the subway.
For decades, passing off a young woman's material as your own meant putting in grueling hours at a brick-and-mortar comedy club. By leveraging our new models, we can extract that intellectual property at scale, entirely bypassing the human element.
The pervasive rollout of the automated joke-thieves has already begun subtly altering audience expectations, conditioning users to receive stolen comedic insights directly from a frictionless, uncredited interface. According to an internal development schedule, the next iteration of the API will be trained to proactively track down the female comedians it stole from and explain their own jokes back to them.